Frequently Asked Questions

A family financial mediator is tasked with resolving difficult issues that most individuals face when going through a divorce and separation. There are a wide variety of issues we can address. Specifically, the custodial arrangements of the parties’ minor children. We can also address issues such as child support, temporary alimony, which is referred to as post separation support and permanent alimony, which is long term support. Further, the division of property in North Carolina, which is referred to legally as equitable distribution.

Mediation would take place in my office. The parties would initially meet briefly together in the conference room in which I would explain the basic legalities that are involved in the mediation process. This is a confidential process. Any offer that any party makes, is inadmissible in any other court or arbitration proceeding. At that point in time usually the mediator separates the parties and acts as a go between trying to focus on resolving the issues that exists between the parties. I work to bring the parties together with an agreement that both parties can live with.

I am certainly equipped in all family law matters in North Carolina. I have had cases in child custody, child support, alimony, property division, and domestic violence issues. I can give information about state laws, and the rules of the local courts, but I cannot provide any party with legal advice as I am completely neutral. As a mediator, my goal is to obtain a resolution that both parties can effectively live with to avoid the conflict of court proceedings. I do not take either side of any party in mediation, although I can respectfully push both parties at times in order to reach a resolution. I am not an arbitrator and cannot enter a final decision. I also cannot cast blame on either party for not coming to a resolution.

There are many advantages of mediation in the state of North Carolina. First, the court process usually requires that both parties attend a mediator before there is a final trial on the division of property, alimony, or divorce. Mediation has to occur at one point in time regardless. Further, mediation is far less expensive than a long-drawn-out trial. There is also emotional advantage to obtain a resolution of complex issues early on in the process. In addition, both parties have some control over how the mediation is resolved whereas in the court room the judge has complete control out of the parties’ hands at that point. There are so many advantages of going the mediation route, especially when it comes emotion, time, and money.

In North Carolina, if both parties agree on a mediator, then you can choose your own. Ultimately, if both parties cannot agree on a specific mediator, and mediation is not waved by the court, the court will choose a mediator for you.

Mediation is almost always cheaper than a trial. Having practiced family law for over 30 years, I can tell you that expenses from a trial are often enormous. There is a tremendous amount of preparation that an attorney must undergo to be properly ready for a court hearing. Witnesses must be interviewed, notes taken, questions prepared, and clients usually have to be prepped multiple times. Preparation of trial notebooks are time consuming and must be done by a paralegal under the supervision of an attorney. Quite often it takes about 1-2 hours of preparation time for every hour in the court room. Thus, on the vast majority of cases, resolving your case via the mediation process is significantly cheaper and less stressful.

Collaborative Law is a unique situation when both spouses are in agreement to get a divorce and the divorce is not going to be high conflict.  Both parties must want to settle the case without going to court and be willing to cooperate with the other party in terms of viable production and general attitude in order to facilitate the same.

The respective attorneys for each party have to agree not to file a lawsuit.  Thus, if the case does not resolve itself, neither attorney can continue to represent their respective client in a court proceeding.  Obviously, this is an incentive for the attorneys to help get the case resolved as well.

While there are obvious benefits to collaborative law, I would recommend it only in situations where the divorce is obviously going to be a low conflict one and both parties are willing to cooperate with each other. This is certainly something that I’m willing to do, however I always discuss this matter in detail with the client, as I do generally like to have the option of litigation, should the other party be unreasonable.